What is a camgirl? Basically the definition of that is a girl that makes money by entertaining a guest (usually a guy) in her chat room in a sexual or non-sexual way. But it’s a bit more to that than meets the eye. Most of the girls on video chat site are…. well… not so smart. They make a living out of taking off their clothes because it’s all they are capable of doing. Then there are smart girls that do it and don’t enjoy it, which is still being dumb in my book. And there are girls that enjoy doing it and see more to it than just making a few bucks – they make the experience as an adventure. They establish a bond between them and the people they chat with and they create a connection that actually beats the fact that they are on two different places in that moment. That’s what I like to do – under the circumstance that the guy I am chatting with has a brain as well.
While I am writing this post, I am also online. It makes me be even more close to the source of my inspiration for this post. I wanted to share with others my story on how I became a camgirl and how it actually changed my life, how me and Erik met online and how it is to do video chat as a married woman and the opinion of my husband on how it is to be a member. But I will divide this article in three parts for a better understanding of each subject I’m going to talk about. Let’s start with the first chapter:
When I first started online video chat, I started working in a video chat studio in my home country, Romania. Because Romania has AMAZING, cheap internet, that job couldn’t pass the ears and eyes of college girls that are looking for extra bucks to support their studies. I wasn’t a student, I just needed money to support my family after my mom passed away (but that’s another story). I started in the adult category. The only thing I knew about it was that I will be chatting with horny men that want to see me naked. That’s what I thought video chat is all about. It was considered a shameful job, that only stupid sluts practice because they can’t learn to get better jobs. That was the mentality that was surrounding me so naturally I took it as my own, because I don’t like stupid girls.
In that period I also became single after a very long relationship. I had no idea how to date anymore, and the fact that I was in the video chat business didn’t help at all. It’s not the type of girl you would introduce to your mother (that was actually said to me by a guy that I tried to date). So I made a martyr out of myself in my mind and said I will dedicate myself entirely to work.
That was the best decision I made in my entire life. Given the fact that I never had a “single period” since the age of 16, I didn’t know how to be alone and not have someone to call all the time. That gave me time to do something scary – to actually spend time with myself. I didn’t like what I found – was a lot of sadness, regret and ignorance. I was lacking so much self confidence although up until that moment I always thought I had a lot. But it wasn’t confidence I was manifesting, it was selfishness. Big difference!
I started to think I was a screw-up and that I’m never going to be someone respected and loved. I was a camgirl, no one wants the camgirl. Not to mention I was gaining huge amounts of height because of the chaotic schedule I had with work. Everything seemed to go down hill and I had no idea what to do about it.
At the studio I was told to behave sensual, to always be sexy and never appear on cam without tons of makeup and sexy lingerie. I tried doing what the girls were advising me to do because that is how girls make a lot of money. I tried it for a few months – didn’t work very good and I didn’t understand why. I knew that I wasn’t a bombshell but still I had enough make-up on my face to cover any imperfections on three girls, and my outfits did match the criteria. So what was I doing wrong?
In that period I started to watch the videos of a fitness instructor and entrepreneur on YouTube. His name is Elliott Hulse. This guy had many videos about how to find yourself and how to bring back balance to your life. Because I was in a point of my life where I had nothing left to lose I could listen actively. His words made so much sense to me and the emptiness inside me started to go away. My mind and heart was filling up with purpose to be better, stronger, to stop feeling sorry for myself and to feature my imperfections, not fix them. From this point in my life I’ve discovered that I am my own best friend and no one will ever take care of me better than myself. All of these changes started to reflect on my everyday life and, of course, on my job.
I discovered that not the make-up and the clothes make members like you, but being yourself – preferably with a little bit of makeup though. I was trying to hard, pushing myself to be something that I wasn’t. I started to be myself and embrace my life the way it was: the type of job I had, being single, weight, lack of sex etc. I started to work with what I had and love myself for who I am as a person. I learned that being sexy is an state of mind and not the way you look, that not your body type is what draws others to you but your attitude and persona. I smiled a lot, laughed with the members and made so many amazing memories – sexy ones, funny ones, even cried together with a few remembering some hard moments in our lives. Everything became “Zen” and things started falling into place. I was truly happy!
With everything that you are doing, in time you get better at it. The same happened to me. I learned how to accentuate my best angles, how to pose in front of a camera, how to act and react to people and many more. But the most important thing of all is that I learned how to trust myself and have self confidence. My colleagues were a lot younger thank me – I was 25 and that time and they were around 18-20 years old. I learned how to own that as well, understanding that I wasn’t a girl anymore, I was on my way to becoming a woman and I was actually winning with that because of all the experience I had compared to the other girls. I was (if you want to call it so) an entrepreneur – I was selling my own image, making a living out of it and growing day by day.
That is how I took video chat and turned into a lifestyle, made it my own and I slayed it. It actually became addictive, in the sense that I was challenging myself daily. I wanted to discover my limits (if I had any) and I tried my best to bring something new to the table every time someone came to visit me. I took the member’s side more than the models’ because I herd what discussions the other girls were having regarding the members. I tried to participate as little as possible because I didn’t agree with the attitude they had towards everyone and especially I didn’t agree with all the complaining that was going on. So I separated myself from the rest and concentrated on my work and on my business. I was my own person!